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Covention/Transcript
Luz: Emboldened by the dishonor Hecate had shown, Azura lifted her staff to the cotton-candy skies and shouted, "I challenge you to a Witch's Duel!" And look! I drew a flip book. Pew, pew, pew! King: Show me the picture. Luz: What? King: Show me the picture! Hah! I can draw better than that. You know, they once called me the King of Artists. Luz: Wait. I thought you were the King of Demons. Are you just making this up now? King: Doesn't matter. What's important is that my followers would leave me offerings in fear of me! Luz: Well, I can offer you more of this tantalizing book. Eda: Ugh! Please stop reading that. Its flowery language is an insult to witches and driving away all of our serious customers! Luz: Um, Eda? What customers? There aren't even any other stands around. What's going on? Eda: This is a bad omen. There must be something horrible happening today. Gus: Luz! Something amazing is happening today! Luz: Gus, Willow! Hey! Willow: It's the annual covention! Student witches get to see all the types of covens before they're placed in one. There's even a mystery guest this year! Luz: A job fair for witches! Eda, can we go? Eda: Absolutely not. Luz: [groans, thuds] Eda: I never joined a coven for a reason. Sure it's like a fun club for witches, but you're also giving up your magical independence to be part of a crooked system. Willow: Mmm. Eda: Eh, but, you know, no judgment. In any case, I haven't been to one since we were girls. Luz: "We"? Eda: I-- the-- I mean-- Luz: Who's "we"? You have a mysterious past! Now we gotta go! Eda: No. Luz: Okay. Then you leave me no choice. King: "You shall not shan't doeth no more harm," Azera callethed out... [continues reading] Eda: So flowery, so awful. King: "Hecate could only screech, screech as did she, for the screeching did worseneth." Eda: Stop it! Stop it! I will literally do anything, just stop this! [groans] THEME Eda: [grunting] Gotta keep a low profile. Luz: [grunts] Is this cowl really necessary? Eda: Do you think all my wanted posters are for petty theft? Partly. But the big whammy is I disobeyed the law and refused to join a coven. If I'm seen, I could go to jail. Again. Willow: Maybe this informative event will inspire you to join a coven. Eda: Let's just get this over with. Luz: Whoa. Was I even alive before now? Gus: Those are the main nine covens, but there are hundreds of other ones you can join. Willow: There's Flower Coven, Artist Coven, Big Dog Coven, Small Cat Coven, Tiniest Cat Coven-- Eda: [groans] Willow: Also the Grumpy Coven. Eda: What was that? [Willow yips] Man #1: Uh, excuse me, ma'am, but you look rather familiar. Eda: Uh... No, I don't. Distraction spell! Luz: Ooh, what's that? Willow: That's the Construction Coven. One of the main nine. They use power glyphs to increase their strength. [beeps] Conspiracy Prisoner: [screams] Ha-a-a! I'm the destroyer of worlds! Man #2: Hey, that's the opposite of construction! Luz: Yowza-wowza! Illusion Luz: Yowza-wowza! Luz: Yowza-wha-a-a? Gus: Ah! You've been taken in by the allure of the Illusionist Coven. We like to magic with a hint of showmanship. Luz: Wow! Acceptance? Comradery? A sense of belonging? Covens sound incredible! Eda, why haven't you ever joined one? Eda: Watch closely, Luz. When you join a coven, all your other magic is sealed away. From now on, that kid will only be able to make illusions. Since I never joined a coven, I can do every kind of magic. That's why I'm the most powerful witch on the Boiling Isles. King: Wha...? Student #1: The tea leaves foretell that this will lead you to your destiny. King: Destiny? Huh! I'm not paying for-- Student #1: It's free-e-e. King: Are you bestowing gifts upon me? Yes! I accept your offering! The King of Demons is back! Luz: That panel looks popular. Gus: [gasps] It's the Emperor's Coven! Do you think they'll sign my forehead? Willow: Only one way to find out! Luz: Aren't you coming, Eda? Eda: No way. Of all the covens, they're the worst. I'll wait out here. Luz: I get it, Eda. Covens: bad. Individualism: good. But I'm still figuring this world out, so I'm going to go in there and make up my own mind, okay? Man #1: [to a guardian] I just saw her. Eda: Huh? Man #1: She's over there. I think that's her! Eda: Uh-oh. Luz, wait up! [audience chattering] Eda: All right, let's see this mess. [audience applauding, cheering] Bump: Hello, Bonesborough! Students ask me all the time, "Principal Bump, what's the height of magical achievement?" Student #2: Is it this? Bump: Wow. I failed you as a principal. It's being selected to join the best of the best. And there are none better than the jewel of the coven system and the enforcers of His will, the Emperor's Coven. Eda: Whoa. Willow/Gus: Luz! Bump: Feast your eyes on this elite force, each member handpicked to help usher in a new age of controlled magic. [audience cheers, applauds] Eda: [to a monster] When does that elite force get here? [laughs] Bump: Members of the Emperor's Coven have access to all-- yes, all forms of magic. Ooh. Aah. Public: Ooh. Aah. Bump: But... only the best can ascend these ranks. Some day that could be one of you! Amity: [squeals] Eda: [laughs] Luz: Hmm? Bump: And now, I'm pleased to introduce the esteemed leader of this coven and this year's mystery guest. You know her, you love her! Lilith! Eda: [stops laughing] Huh? [spectral bird screeches] [audience applauds, cheers] Luz: You know her? Eda: You could say that. Luz: [gasps] Mysterious past! Lilith: Thank you, all. It wasn't easy for me to rise to the top. I also started from humble beginnings. Student #2: Like me? Lilith: Now I have the highest honor of enforcing the Emperor's will. So be more! The Emperor's Coven awaits you! Luz: Eda! Where are you going? Eda: I'm gonna head home and wash the con fog off my skin. Luz: But we haven't even taken the quiz to determine our coven type! Ooh, a punky potioness. [both grunt] Amity: Watch where you-- Oh, it's you. Willow's... abomination thing. Luz: Uh... Hey, Amity. So, funny story. Not an abomination. Sorry for the confusion last week. I-I'm Luz. The human. Hi! Amity: Ugh. Put that away. You're the one that got me in trouble with Principle Bump and I never get in trouble. Luz: Well, to be fair, you were okay with him trying to dissect me, so-- Amity: You can't be here! This covention is for witches only. Luz: Well, I'm learning how to be a witch. I'm receiving magic lessons from a powerful witch and a ferocious demon. Amity: Is that your ferocious demon there? King: Cupcakes in my tummy-tum makes the King say yummy-yum! Baker: So you'll join the Bakers Coven? King: Hmm... Nope! Oh, hey, Luz! Look at all those offerings-- Wah! [gasps] Amity: Oops. That was an accident. Luz: Why are you being so mean, Amity? Amity: Because you and your pet are giving witches in training a bad name. King: I'm not a pet! Luz: He's a very good boy and the King of Demons! I'll tell you what, Amity. It's one thing to say I can't be a witch-- Amity: 'Cause you can't. Luz: ...but it's another thing to bully my friends. Just like The Good Witch Azura said when facing down her rival Hecate at the Bog of Immediate Regret-- I challenge you to a Witch's Duel! [everyone gasps] Amity: I accept. Let's set the terms for this duel, shall we? Luz: One, if I win, you apologize to King for squashing his cupcake. King: Good night, sweet child. Luz: And two, you admit that humans can be witches too. Amity: Fine by me. But when I win, not only do you have to tell the whole covention you're not a witch, you have to stop training forever. King: Do it, Luz! For my honor! Luz: Fine. Let's shake on it. Amity: The everlasting oath is sealed. Luz: That's probably fine. Amity: Meet back inside the theater in one hour. Let's see what kind of witch you are. Luz: King, I-I can win this, right? King: [munching] Mmm? Oh, yeah. No. Luz: [whimpers] Lilith: Sister? It's been so long since I've seen you last! What are you wearing? You look like some sort of trash collector. Oh, right. You are. Eda: Oh, Lily. I just had to see the leader of the Emperor's Coven in action. You know, when we were kids, Lilith was so excited to see the Emperor's Coven, she peed a little. [kids laugh] Lilith: That-- That's all for today. [to Eda] You shouldn't even be here. You're a wanted criminal! Unless... [gasps] I don't believe it! You are here to join the Emperor's Coven! Eda: [chortles, laughs] In your dreams. [laughing] Lilith: You think being covenless makes you so much smarter than everyone else. But while you run from the law like a degenerate, I'm mentoring the next generation of powerful witch students into the world. Eda: Well, I have a student. And I bet she could wipe the floor with any of your prissy little blue bloods. Lilith: Is that a challenge? Eda: Oh, it's a promise. Luz: Eda, I need your help! I accidentally challenged Amity to a witch's duel, and I think she's going to kill me all the way dead! Lilith: Mmm, it seems your student has met my strongest protégé. And look at those ears! Is she human? [laughs] Where did you even find one of these? Okay, Edalyn. For one day, you won't have to hide from the law, because I want to see how good a teacher you really are. Eda: Come on, kid. Time to prepare for bloodshed. Luz: But-- whose blood? Eda: Anyone's guess! [chuckles] Eda: All right, Luz. Let's start your training. Now, I'm coming at you with a blast of fire. What do you do? Oh, that's right. I haven't taught you many spells, huh? [chuckles] Boy, I hope you didn't make an everlasting oath to stop learning magic or anything. You'd be toast. Luz: I-Is there a glowy hand thing that happens, or, uh-- Amity: Abomination. Rise. [abomination groans] Conspiracy Prisoner: [screams] Eda: Ooh, boy. Luz: I can't believe I'm gonna have to stop learning magic! Eda: Listen to me, Luz. We are not gonna let those snobs win that easy! We are not gonna let them win at all. I've got an idea. Lilith: Beloved citizens, the Emperor's Coven proudly presents an impromptu demonstration of the sort of witch we seek every year. Introducing Amity Blight. Fan: Woo, Amity! Lilith: Versus... some human girl. Student #3: A human? Student #4: Humans can't do magic! Student #5: She's not Amity. Luz: Eda? What am I going to do? Eda: Calm down. You see those mounds? Get Amity to land on one of those and she'll set off my magic traps. Luz: That's cheating! Eda: Nobody will know. To all eyes up there it'll look like you're performing magic. Just trust me. Luz: But I will know in my heart! Even if I win now, I lose. Eda: That's the spirit! [bell ringing, screaming] [audience applauding, cheering] Amity: Abomination. Rise. [golem groans] Luz: [gasps] Amity: Whoa. Show me what you got, human! Luz: I'm not good under pressure! [groans] Luz: [panting] Whoa! [groans] Luz: [whimpers] [footsteps approaching] Amity: How did you do that? Luz: I, uh-- Magic? [King scatting] King: ♪ Things that are free ♪ ♪ People are giving offerings to me! ♪ I love offerings! What did I miss? Willow: Luz is in a witch's duel! Gus: Yeah! And she can win it all! Yeah-yeah! King: Wha...? [Amity screams] [abomination and Amity grunt] Amity: I-I saw you that time! You didn't use your hands! What are you getting at? Luz: Not dying! [groans] Luz: [screams] King: This I gotta see! Student #5: Go Amity! King: Hey! You root for Luz or nobody! Luz: [screams] King: [grunting] Amity: How are you doing that? Luz: No, Amity, don't step any closer! Amity: Why, Luz? What happens if I step closer? King: [screams, grunts] Mmm? I'm okay! Luz: Spikes? Amity: I knew it! You were cheating! Luz: Amity-- No! Lilith: Oh, Eda. I do believe this means you lose! Eda: [groans] Luz: It wasn't my idea to cheat. And when I found out, I tried to stop it, but-- Amity: Who could believe anything you say? Eda: Wait just a sec, Miss Protégé. Amity: Hey! What are you-- Eda: A power glyph from the Construction Coven. [everyone gasps] [foreteller gasps] Student #1: I mean... I knew it. Willow: She cheated! Eda: Ah-ha! Yes, yes, yes-yes-yes! You cheated. Perfect, prissy Lilith cheated. Hot dang, I love coventions! La-la-la-- Lilith: I only did that because I knew you would cheat! Eda: Still cheated! Welcome down to my level! Amity: But... I didn't know! Luz: Amity, wait! King: Luz! Help me! [Luz grunts] King: My offerings! Luz: You'll get more offerings, King. King: Hey, wait for me! Lilith: Knock it off. You're making a scene! Eda: You cheated. Hey, where's the Rhyming Coven? What rhymes with "cheated"? Lilith: Stop acting like a child! Eda: You were defeated, don't get heated, get your stank face treated. Lilith: Rhyme one more thing. I dare you! Eda: Oh, it's okay, I'm done. Because my rhymes are depleted! Lilith: [screaming] That's it! [audience gasps] Willow/Gus: [gasp] Eda: There she is! [staff drops] Eda: [roars] [Lilith grunts] Student #5: Witch's duel! Luz: [gasps] Amity... I'm sorry. Amity: Ugh, seriously? Just leave me alone. Luz: I didn't mean to embarrass you. Amity: That's all you ever do! First at school, and now this! Luz: Yeah, but-- Amity: You made me look like a fool in front of the Emperor's Coven. My future! You think it's so easy to be a witch. I have been working my whole life to get to the top! You lost! You cheated! Say it! Say you're not a witch! Luz: I'm not a witch. But I'm training hard to be one. [crash] [audience screams] Lilith: [grunts] [grunting] [owl hoots] Lilith: Ow, ow, ow-ow-ow. Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow! Eda: Say good night, sister. Lilith: Enough of this. Eda: [gasps] [screams] Lily, wait. The curse. Look at me. Look at my face. The curse is worsening and I can't keep up with it. I don't know how much time I have left. Lilith: I'll admit I was surprised when I first saw you today. Eda: I just had to see my sister for... possibly the last time. Lilith: Eda, I-- [screams] [growls] Eda: It's been fun, but let's call it a draw! Lilith: Argh! Amity: That's nothing. A child could do a light spell. But... I've never seen it cast like that. Luz: It doesn't come naturally to me like it does for you, so I've had to improvise. Amity: [sighs] The oath is unbound. Luz: Did it work? Can I still learn magic? Amity: Humans have no magical ability. But I doubt that'll stop you. King: Luz! You left me! Luz: Yeah, sorry. Your legs are just so tiny. Should we get you more offerings? King: Nah. That stuff just weighed me down. But I have something for you, Luz. And it's the best thing, because it's free, comes from my heart, and I always have more than I need. Luz: [gasps] Is it love? King: Ugh! No! Tote bags! And they have so many uses! Away, fair chariot! Away! Eda: We gotta go. Luz: How'd you get away from Lilith? Eda: Let's just say she had a real "snack attack." Hah! [snorts] Wait, I got a better one. Luz: Eda... Do you think I'll ever be a true witch? Eda: What? I don't know. And who's a true witch? These suckers? According to them, that means being in a coven, but I never joined one and I'm better than all of them combined. You gotta be your own witch. Luz: My own witch. Eda: Now, let's go before my sister realizes I tied her pointy shoes together. [Lilith screams] Eda: And that's our cue! Luz: Sister? Now that's a mysterious past payoff! Eda: Oh, you think that's all the mystery I got? Wait until you hear about my parents. Luz: What? You've got parents? I need to know more! King: You very much don't! Lilith: [grunts] You make it so hard to want to help you, Edalyn. [gasps] Kikimora: Lilith, I see you let The Owl Lady get the best of your temper. Just remember what Emperor Bellows has promised to you. Lilith: I will capture her, ma'am. You have my word. Kikimora: Very good. Lilith: Your days are numbered, Edalyn. Category:A to Z Category:Transcripts Category:Season 1 Category:C